Monthly Archives: February 2015

Just One of Those Nights

The text has been sent. The facebook message has been received. The voicemail has been left. The snapchat has been opened. Whatever means of technology has been used in this day and age, there is always a response which is expected…and then the reality that actually comes.

I’m one of those girls who constantly imagines the way a certain conversation will go…what they will say, what I will say, everything down to the last little smirk left on his face. No matter how many times I guess what his response will be or what phrase he will say, and no matter how many times I am wrong and get a little crushed by it, I can’t stop. I want our conversations to go a certain way only because I want our relationship to go a certain way. I know it’s not going to happen, at least any time soon, but I can’t stop and then it leads to nights like tonight. Where I’m alone, watching Netflix, wanting to cry. It’s pathetic really, but all I wanted him to say was “of course I’ll come over, just give me a second to figure out how to get there. You’re sick and I’d love to spend the night with you” But of course that isn’t the response I get. Instead I’m here all alone in this house cause the family left for the evening and I’ve been sick and I’m cooped up crying over something that I can’t change…

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Perfection: if only for a night

We touch…I feel a rush…

First. it’s just our knees brushing side by side

Even this little connection makes my heart skip a beat

Then my head lands on your shoulder

As my eyes begin to flutter shut I hear you whispering to me, telling me that I’m beautiful

It’s so late but now you have my attention once again

Your soft, tender fingers find the patch of skin showing from my slightly lifted shirt

Your lips touch mine and I know whatever happens here I am in the arms of someone who cares about me and I care about them

…As I lie with my head against your perfectly sculpted, bare chest, listening to your heart beat fast, I can’t help but think *was this just a dream?*

It was so perfect. You are so perfect. I’ve waited so long to be this close to you. Am I only imagining you lying next to me in the dim light wrapped in a mess of blankets? Or is this reality…are you really here? On Valentine’s Day? True bliss…