Getting a Sweet Tooth

What is this? The day that I start dancing again my sweet tooth must emerge. But can I even call it a sweet tooth? A craving? Or is it just a flat out problem? I start watching what I eat, I start losing weight, I feel a little bit okay with my body and then I get in front of mirrors for the first time in weeks in tight clothing and when I come home all I want to do is eat all of the chocolate on planet Earth. Is there a connection? I once again can easily pick apart every aspect of my body. I once again can compare myself to dancer B standing next to me and dancer A across the room. So what do I do…? Take up more space with my food intake, have a larger number on the scale and continue to eat more as I continue to feel worse about myself. Sounds like a solid plan…right? I stayed home this year to not only heal my ankle, but to heal myself, but the more I think about it the more I feel like some of my problems, like my eating tendencies, have gotten worse as the year has progressed. I head off to college in two short months and I know that not much is going to be able to change in terms of my shape, my eating habits or how I feel about my body. And that sucks. I will be in a whole new environment, surrounded with more itty bitty individuals and what that means for me I have no idea. It scares me. It really truly does. But does anyone know that? hahahahha I wish. Now you guys do, but anyone who can help? Hell no they don’t. I could revert to some awful awful habits on both ends of the eating disorder spectrum and I’m beyond scared for the unconscious decision that very well could be made…


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