‘At a wooden desk just like the 24 others in the 2nd grade classroom sits the new girl, her hair in make-shift pig tails and clothes that almost but don’t quite match. The nametag on her desk reads ‘Sally’ and that’s all the other girls and boys know about her. They don’t know if she has brothers or sisters, what her favorite color is or if she is a good speller like Kathy who is in the seat next to her. They don’t know her story and judging by her quiet nature they may never know. The teacher on the other hand knows that Sally lives with only her dad in an apartment down the road. Her mom passed away from cancer just a few months ago so her dad is having to face raising Sally on his own. He will do the best that he can as his daughter grows older to help her find a strong mother figure in her life and he will work his hardest to be there for her when she needs someone. He knows that he won’t be perfect but he will strive to be the best that he can be.’
Most people grow up knowing someone like Sally, someone who has had to grow up without their mother in their life due to a tragedy of some sort. These girls are the ones that younger women sympathize for. They know how much their mothers helped them grow up to be the strong women they are and they can’t imagine not having someone to gossip about their crush to, teach them how to put on make-up and just be there for the things that their dad’s couldn’t seem to handle. But what happens when you have a mom in your life and she didn’t seem to help you with the things most moms were there for their daughter’s for? Can you sit there feeling sorry for yourself? Probably not because you did know at least one girl who grew up without their mom there at all.
So what can you do when your mom didn’t help you through things such as teaching you how to shape your own eyebrows, the importance of washing your face every night, and how to apply make up? You end up showing up to school looking like a freak…right? You have weird, uneven eyebrows, acne and strange eyeliner going all the wrong directions. Now what? Is your mom there to comfort you and help you? Nope. Is she there to listen to you tell your sob stories? She might be, but at this point you have stopped wanting her help. She couldn’t help you feel good about your outer appearance how is she supposed to help comfort your heart and hear out your feelings?
I realize that not all grown women care drastically about their outer appearance. Maybe they don’t wear make up, color their hair and buy designer clothes. And don’t get me wrong, I am fine with that. Some people grow up appreciating the more natural looks and ways to care for yourself which is just fine. But there comes a part in every girl’s life where they need their mom to help them feel and look their best so they can be confident going into school, going to the basketball game or on their first date. I can guarantee that at one point in time my mom cared too, so why wasn’t she there when I cared? I still care, but luckily I have tried my hardest to figure things out on my own. There were a lot of lifestyle choices throughout middle school and high school especially that I really wish I would have had someone there to help me figure out which would have helped me now. But the past is the past and now I have to play catch up on such things. Yet, I still can’t feel sorry for myself…right? Because I did grow up with my mom around all the time, but for some reason she didn’t step up towards the actions to help me feel like a confident young woman even though she was here to do so.