The Silent Struggle

Do you know how hard it is to be in a room with 2 individuals who have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, one girl who is on the verge and the last who is too young to have even developed curves of any sort? Do you know how hard it is to not feel bad about yourself in this situation where you can so easily compare yourself to the other girls in the room? Do you know how hard it is when no one else in the room even realizes that you might be struggling with food and your self image just as much as the next you’re just too scared to get help for it like the others? It is pretty much a living hell. You would think maybe it would motivate me to improve my habits, get skinny again and start to feel better about myself…yea I had hoped it would too. But it’s not. I feel worse as the days go on and I get worse with each passing week. I am too scared though and I can’t even voice it to anyone else to help me get help. I know that I need it but I’m too scared. I’m crying but no one knows. I paste a smile on my face to act like everything’s okay. It’s not and it hasn’t been for weeks, months really, but who really cares? No one seems to so there’s no one to talk to. No one who wants to listen. No one who wants to help. And I’d be too nervous to say anything if the situation arose knowing my luck.

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