Who are you as an individual? What determines your worthiness in society? What makes you feel important in the world? How do you determine your self worth? How do you become your best without necessarily being the best? Do you feel like you matter? Do you put pressure on yourself to reach unrealistic goals in life? Or are you just trying to push yourself to your highest limits? Do you have people to support you? Do you have others to push you? Do you have anyone striking you down from achieving what you are capable of?
These are all important questions to consider throughout difficult and high pressure stages in your life. I know that I put far too much pressure on myself but in life everyone is their own harshest critic. But there definitely is a point where you can push yourself way too far and end up falling over the edge. I am already putting way too much pressure on myself to succeed in 5 weeks at my auditions which at this point seem to determine my life. When in truth I may not get into the programs I wish to but that does NOT mean that I have to give up dance entirely. I could declare a dance minor maybe and re-audition later in my college career. Or I can take up classes at a local studio. Not making it in does not mean that I have not succeeded with dance no matter how hard that hurdle will be to overcome. I know that I have the support from my dance teachers and now my therapist who will help me through whatever comes my way following this time in my life. They are there to help me up until the auditions, possibly throughout the auditions and once they have come to an end. I need to go into life’s adventures and uphill climbs with a healthy perspective to allow myself positive experiences. I will learn through failure and thrive from such things just as much as success. I am worthy of this life I have been given and I need to get as much out of it as possible but the only way to do so is to let myself live with less pressures and high expectations.