The Start Of A Chapter

2013 seemed to fly by that’s for sure and now it is going to seem really quite strange to say 2014…but that happens every year and we all seem to adjust just fine so this year shouldn’t be any different in that aspect. 2013 had a lot of big changes and small changes but I learned a lot and grew a lot (not physically…if only!). I met a bunch of new people. I lost a lot of friends. I started opening up to others. I tried to give as much advice to people as possible. I was out of dance for over 6 months. I spent hours upon hours at the Mayo Clinic and physical therapy and the podiatrist. I took my first solo roadtrip down to Iowa. I was diagnosed with depression. I tried therapy for the first time. I graduated. My plans for my future took a 180 degree turn in a matter of days. I drove….a lot. I had a graduation party which I thought I would never do. I put trust in people that I’ve never really trusted before. I went to a meditation presentation with a friend. I got my first job. I got my second job. I got my third job! I reopened doors to previously damaged friendships. I got accepted to 5 colleges (three of them twice!). I performed en pointe for the first time in 2013 in December. I got an honors diploma. I became an adult, turning 18. I started teaching kids how to dance. I got five scholarships to colleges. My foot swelled up like a balloon. I became best friends with a 3 year old. I visited my sister at college. I wrote/reblogged 105 blog posts.  My eating habits changed..multiple times. I went to three different concerts in the span of four months. I wrote letters to people at school. I finally got a smart phone after 3 years of a dumb phone. I lost motivation on a daily basis almost enough to end things entirely. I became somewhat addicted to coffee. I learned how much I enjoy sunsets. I performed in two and a half shows.  I babysat quite frequently for various families around town. I started working out outside of dance. I baked cookies and brownies and cupcakes oh my!

To say that my year was a busy mess would be an understatement. To say that it was easy would be a lie. To say that it was my hardest year yet could very well be the truth. But I know that I have lots more to come in my future as long as I give myself the chance. I thoroughly enjoyed my New Year’s Eve with close friends and some not so close friends. We rang in the New Year by counting down quite loudly, watching the ball drop and drinking sparkling apple cider after cheering. And truthfully it was perfect. I didn’t need to be drunk to enjoy my New Year’s. I didn’t need to blackout…Instead I know exactly what happened and I know for a fact that I didn’t do anything that I could regret later on. I did not let food control my night. I just enjoyed the time spent with happy inclusive people!

And now it is officially 2014! It is crazy to think about but I am excited to see what is in store. I am not much for New Year’s resolutions because I do not believe that a new year means that you have to become a ‘new you.’ I think instead that a New Year gives you a chance to work on things that you may not have focused on in the past. It is a time for reflection and realization. So these are my New Year’s Realizations:

  1. I want to deliver myself more appropriately on social networking sites. As the years go by younger and younger girls and boys are creating profiles on various websites such as facebook, instagram and twitter. I know that in the past youngin’s have told me that I am like an older sister or role model to them and I really don’t want to throw that out the window even as they grow older as well. I want to carry myself better. Swear less. Come across happier. Be thoughtful and encouraging. I don’t want their views of me to change because of one measly post or even just a single word within a post. I want to continue to show these younger people that they can look up to me and trust me.
  2. I want to connect more with God and religion. I want to pray more. Possibly read the Bible. Not skip over religiously affiliated posts on facebook and pinterest. I know that when I am more connected with God I am more connected to myself and can truly see things as they are. God is someone that my trust can always be put in and my heart can always be poured out to. I know this, I just need to act on it.

2014 is a new year. I do not want to become a new me. Instead I want to become a better and more understanding me. I will not change who I am for anyone else, I will instead develop what I have learned in my previous years and grow as an individual even more and even deeper. Lots of love to everyone in this New Year <3

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