Beam of Hope

It’s been a really crappy week. But take the crappy layer off and there is a beam of hope sprouting at the bottom. Some good things came out of this week as well :)

On Monday I truly worked out for the first time in a while. I rode a stationary bike, doing hills, for 35 min and afterwards I felt great! I love the feeling one gets post workout and I had missed that feeling for quite some time.

On Tuesday instead of our normal dance routine we got the opportunity to have an extra stretch class since we have a performance week this coming week and were really looking for a break!

On Wednesday I had my second private ballet lesson. May not seem like much but it is always nice to hear how good you truly are doing in class and seeing what needs to be improved. Positive feedback and constructive criticism are both good for the soul. Also this teacher is really helping me feel that someone is there to help me through my dark times and struggles. She is trying to help me be at peace and happy and I couldn’t be more grateful. Also on Wednesday our pre professional classes were switched up just a wee bit and instead of taking class and doing pointe work we got to sit in the hot tub and then have a deep stretch once again.

On Thursday I got to watch the cutest baby ever who brought smiles to my face.

On Friday I officially took my first entire ballet class since last November (2012)!!! It was a fantastic feeling of perseverance and accomplishment to partake in all of the jumps and all of the turns and just truly let myself be free and able! Then to get the hugs and proud smiles of my peers and my teachers was the icing on top of the cake! I also got to go Christmas shopping with a friend as well as make “plans” to hang out with the guy who I’ve missed the most while away at college when I didn’t even know if he would want to see me.

On Saturday I got to watch one of my little ballet students and her brother for the night and then relax in one very nice house.

Today, I had a lot of proud moments in terms of my size and body image. This morning I weighed in less than I have for a few months. This afternoon I was told that I barely have any meat on my back therefore it was hard to give me a back massage while we were in a massage train during rehearsals. This evening the male guest artist who is doing the partnering sections for our upcoming show said quite sarcastically how “It is going to be a huge struggle to do a shoulder sit with you since you’re sooo tiny! I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle it!!” So yes today was a good day for me to feel good about myself:)

So even when things don’t go as planned…things can still turn into great memories:)


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