“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”
If there are actually people out there who believe this then why do I catch myself constantly focusing on the things that worry me, stress me out and make me aggravated? I focus on the ruined relationships in my life. I focus far too much time on the future and college and scholarships and auditions and life. But isn’t this the stuff that I should be focused on? Shouldn’t I spend time thinking about the options I have and the way I want to act later on in life? But they cause me an insane amount of stress and anxiety. How do I let go and live again? How do I balance a good amount of thinking and analyzing with a bearable amount of pressure and worry? Where can I find these answers? Do I first have to somehow not think about any of this at all so that I can then find a happy medium? Because when I try to do this I instead focus on my past and how much I miss in my life now. I realize how many people I don’t like living without. I think about the experiences that I have had and how I wish to relive them. But what good is this doing me? Am I learning anything from it?…No. Am I moving on from any of this?…Clearly not. So what should I focus my thoughts on? The past makes me sad. The future makes me scared. And the present….well, it is a daily struggle of figuring out if any of this is worth it. Was it worth it to stay in town? Was it worth it to pursue my dance dream? Will I get strong again? Will I feel good again? Will I be truly happy again? What is the balance between worrying and letting everything go? How do I find this balance? Why do I have so many questions…?