As I have previously mentioned, I love my job. I leave work after almost every shift with a smile on my face. This is primarily because of my coworkers! They just put me in a great mood. Tonight especially was a night to remember at work. It was really slow due to the strange weather throughout the day so by the end of the night it was just 3 people. The assistant manager, me and one other girl my age. All night we were cracking jokes at one another and just laughing out of pure joy and honesty! I had the chance to choose to go home early and chose not to since the shift had been such a fun one by the time I had the option. I am so happy that I chose to stay!
It is amazing to me how happy I am in these situations when a few months ago there was almost nothing that could make me feel happiness. I was fully depressed. There was not an ounce of energy radiating from within me. I just moved through life while dragging my feet. I rarely smiled (unless it was fake) and I rarely laughed (unless it was forced). But nights like tonight are my pure self. Everything is easy going and just happens naturally in reaction to the events around me. I am so happy to see how far I have come. Am I still depressed? Yes. There are many times where I still feel the way that I did before, but now there are instances where that side of me “disappears” and not because I choose for it to so that I can hide it, but because it just doesn’t need to be around. I am fully happy in situations and it is great! Thank you to the few people who have stayed with me through this journey and I hope that they can see how far I have come as well*. Thanks also to my coworkers for being able to produce these raw emotions through the little things said or done. I appreciate your laughter and good times :) Maybe someday soon I will inform some of the people I am closer with about my depression to explain my moods at times at work, but for now I like things the way they are!
*My friend the other day did mention that I seem “brighter” to her and that is just so great to hear!