Wow, it is so crazy late, but I can’t seem to settle down to get to sleep. Tonight I went out with some friends to Applebee’s and I realized how much I have drifted away from these people. For over 2 hours I sat there, listening to the conversations, watching them eat, and occasionally offering up a laugh here and there. I literally did not tell one story. I think the longest chain of words that came out of my mouth was: “I went to Victoria’s”, in regards to what I did to celebrate my birthday (Saturday) once they finally realized that yes, it had already passed. I was so miserable that entire time that I started texting one of my dance friends to see if we could hang out tonight so that I had an excuse to leave. She was busy so I stuck it out for a little longer.
Once I did leave I stopped quick at the gas station and then decided I really wasn’t in the mood to go home so thought I might drive around for a while. Driving helps me so much sometimes and makes me go crazy others. One night in particular it was great because I was in a text conversation with this one guy who really made me feel loved and cared for since he was concerned for my well being as well as my safety the entire time. He made sure I got home safe and that I was gonna be okay before he headed off to bed. That made my night better. Other times though I just drive for an hour or more an end and don’t really feel any better when I get home. Tonight I realized that I was too distracted to drive alone so I headed home anyway but I am happy that I do have these drives to settle me down a bit from time to time.