“Being there for someone takes more than just saying the words ‘I’m here if you need me.’ Remember actions speak louder than words.”
Time and time again over the past year the words “I’m here for you when needed” have been uttered from someone else to me or me to someone else. The difference is how you act upon these words. Generally speaking when I say this phrase to someone else I try and check in on them from time to time just to see how things are going. I like to strike up a conversation to get them talking and happy and then see how they’re doing. Sometimes this conversation ends short and other times it keeps going because they realize that I truly do care about them and want to know how things are going in their life. The problem that I’m realizing though is that most people who say it don’t mean it. They say it out of habit. They don’t care about you, not in that sense anyway. They may ask you for a week or two but then from there on out they will stop replying to your texts, they’ll stop smiling at you in the halls when you pass and they will practically forget your existence on this earth. You have to start everything. You have to put the effort into the friendship. YOU have to be the pushing force to keep the friendship existing anymore even if it’s only at half its level as before.
I’m sorta getting really sick of this happening with my friends. I hate being the first to text someone all the time. I hate not getting responses to my messages when I do finally text someone. And I absolutely HATE when I can see that someone has read my message and purposely chose not to respond. Most of the time I message people just so that I have someone to talk to. Maybe I’m bored and want to strike up conversation or else I want to hang out with someone so text them to see if they’re free. I very very rarely text someone with the idea of complaining to them and seeking advice in mind. The people I text shouldn’t have this view of me when they see my name light up their screen so I’m unsure why they don’t want to talk to me. It makes me feel deserted, rejected, forgotten and alone. It sucks to say the least.
Put the effort into relationships and friendships that you want the other person to return to you.