Umm…

So tonight my dance teacher contacted me and told me that if I wanted to get back into shape and start dancing again that I would have to appear at class tomorrow and take it. Me being the thoughtful person I generally am agreed on the spot. When the phone call ended I instantly burst into tears. What have I gotten myself into? I can’t dance tomorrow, there is NO way. I haven’t danced fully in 6 months. I am out of shape. I am fat. I am insecure. I am scared. I am afraid of judgement and embarrassment. I CAN’T DO THIS! I really have no idea what I am going to do tomorrow because I have cried at least 5 times tonight. I have been on edge and having a slight anxiety attack. I really truly can’t do this. I don’t want to take class in front of 8-10 other girls. I don’t want to and I really don’t think I can. I of course haven’t told my parents this though so if I leave tomorrow I may have to go somewhere else and just pretend that I went to the studio and took class. I have to get over this bump in the road eventually if I ever want to dance again, but this is not a good time. Not on top of my worsening depression once again. Not good…not good at all.

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One thought on “Umm…

  1. MissSkinnyGenes

    Hey friend,

    Take a deep breath. You are more than the shape of your body. You are more than the image in the mirror. You are strong, and whatever you decide to do (go or not) it will be the right choice if you let it. Give yourself permission to not be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. Go and enjoy it if dancing makes you happy; stay and save your sanity if it’s too much pressure. Be kind to you–and good luck :)

    You’ve got cheerleaders out there if you need support. :D

    Stay hungry,
    Kaila, aka @MissSkinnyGenes

    Reply

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