Well it is official, I am a graduated student of High School! Nothing feels much different but I do think I want to change things up in my life in a multitude of ways which brings me excitement and a jump of nervousness as well. I am ready to be more outgoing and willing to try new things and meet new people. I am a very shy and reserved person even to the closest people in my life. I don’t want to be though. I want to be open and seem like I am ready to have a good time. I hate being awkward and never knowing what to say to people and being so self conscious. I am ready to break through that invisible barrier and change who I am.
Here is a picture of me at my grad party with the one little guy who I consider my best friend. This made me have to be open and talkative as well as happy and not reserved. It was a struggle for me but all in all it was a pretty good time. It went quick and there was a pretty steady flow of people. Of course there were people that I was wishing would make an appearance who didn’t and then there were the ones who came and totally surprised me. I’m more than happy it’s over with though due to all of the pressure for everything to be perfect.
I don’t really know what is wrong with me right now. Instead of being happy and trying to find new people to hang out with I am in my room, eating my feelings and on the verge of tears. I’m totally unsure of what hit me tonight but I am ready to break. I’m ready to leave. I’m ready to walk out of the house and never look back.
On another note: I am hoping that giving away my identity with that picture will help me and not hurt me in the long run. I hope it was a good time to do so but I guess I won’t know until later on whether the decision was right.