Boys. Such a small word with so much behind it. Every girl out there has some story to share, some emotion to unravel, some inspirational words for others to let loose. Boys. Such a distraction from the everyday life of a female. Boys. Causing such frustration when the little things go wrong. Boys. Boys. Boys.
Some people have it so easy when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. Then there are people like me. I don’t know what it is but I’ve always been this way. Steering clear of those that I have my eye on, reading into every little thing that goes right or wrong, pushing and hoping for things that just aren’t present. I’m flat out envious of the girls who can act all flirty and such just to get a cute guy to look their way and then act all innocent even when they aren’t in reality. I watch the guys I crush on walk right past me without a second glance in my direction. I don’t make it known that I have a thing for them since when I have in the past things have gone majorly wrong and I don’t want a repeat of that situation.
I read into everything. When I say everything, I mean everything. I notice the little things: how long it takes them to text back, where and how often the little exclamation point is used in our conversations, the fact that he hasn’t accepted my grad party invite on facebook but has accepted other people’s. And that brings up another thing. It is all technologically based. I rarely converse with guys. I text, facebook chat, any kind of electronic communication out there I have probably used. Talking always ends awkwardly and I don’t have the chance to think about what would be appropriate to say next. I wish I weren’t this way, but this is just how I work. It’s awful though because it then makes face to face contact even more awkward than it needs to be. Soo if there’s anyone out there who wants to give me hints that’d be MUCH appreciated! I don’t want to be alone forever. I want to be noticed. I don’t want to make a fool of myself, but I do want guy friends. I have only had a few in the past and these days I do not know if the boys I considered myself to be friends with actually view me as a friend anymore based on my actions and our interactions, or lack there of these days. So please. I would really appreciate words of wisdom, stories, anything to make my situation any easier. Thanks!