On The Outside Looking In

Recently I’ve been feeling as though most people see my life and view me as living the picture perfect life. From the outside I have a stable family, I have friends, I succeed in school, I have a successful sister, my dad does well at work, we are living without my mom needing to work, we have a nice home, we have money, I “get what I want”, and I am just an overall happy person. What people don’t know can’t hurt them, right? I have honestly lost a lot of respect for people because of these views. I do not appreciate people judging me before knowing me. I don’t even think most of the people I interact with frequently view my life as having struggles. They still view me as leading a stable life. There are so many times where I wish that this wasn’t the case. I wish people could understand my situation. I wish that people knew the real me and could realize what I deal with. It has become very hard to even talk to the few people I do about what’s happening recently because they don’t know my background. They don’t know where I’ve come from and view my past as perfect as well. When I compare my life to the lives of my peers I may seem put together. I don’t deal with as drastic of situations in comparison to their own. But in reality I do. I have my problems in a different sense and always have. I have always been ‘struggling under cover’ so to say. But no one knows that. I have always been one to put on a happy face and act as though nothing is wrong, therefore no one thinks anything is wrong and never has been.

Some day I really want to spill my story, spill everything. But not to some random psychologist but someone who I trust and know cares about me in a personal sense. I want someone special that means a lot to me and I mean a lot to them. I want to open up to someone and soon. I know who I’d want to talk to, but not who would be willing to listen and to try and understand my side of things.

“Saying someone can’t be sad because someone else has it worse is like saying someone can’t be happy because someone else has it better”

-I am StrongTilTheEnd and you are too <3

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